The 9 Cs of Discipline
Clear
& Concise
What do you want the child to do? Get to the point, stating your expectation briefly and positively. For example, when your child darts down the aisle of grocery store, simply say "walk" instead of "don't run, I've told you ten-thousand times not to run. You're going to hurt yourself if..." Follow you words with simple action such as taking the child's hand.
Consistent
Expectations must be consistent, from day to day, from parent to parent or adult to adult, and with the specific child's needs and personality. For example, if you expect your toddler to carry her plate to the kitchen sink after meals today, you need to expect her to do it tomorrow.
Compassionate
Children are learning and growing and it's difficult--show you know this. Express affection and love unconditionally. For example, give hugs for no reason. For example, when your 3-year-old--who knows not to scream in the house--involuntarily screams when excited, a simple reminder may be more appropriate than a full-blow timeout.
Calm
Lose control and so will the children. Avoid emotional responses whenever possible. For example, when your 2-year-old has used his new markers on the wall again, a calm "Markers go on paper" while handing him paper is much more effective than screaming and bringing yourself and your child to tears.
Creative
Stop banging your head against the wall and try something new. If after a reasonable attempt, the strategy isn't working, try something new.
Different children may require different strategies. For example, maybe time-out did work with her older brother when he grabbed toys from others but it may not work for her. If after two weeks of consistently trying this technique, no change occurs, it is time to look for other approaches.
Courtesy
Use "please" and "thank you" freely. Children learn what they see and hear. For example, say please when you make a request or give a direction to your infant, toddler, or young child and be sure to say thank you when they comply. Children who hear adults using courtesies and who have courtesies used with them will tend to use them themselves.
| ©Copyright, 2002 Timothy R. Graves. All Rights Reserved. Permission to reproduce for use with parents and families of young children is granted provided no financial gain is involved and this copyright notice is included. Mr. Graves would appreciate any feedback and knowing how and when you use this document. Please let him know by writing Training Wheels for Early Childhood Education at 1981 Decatur Avenue Wheeling, WV 26003 or sending an e-mail to timgraves@trainingwheels4ece.com. Additional articles and handouts can be found at www.trainingwheels4ece.com |