Many fathers I have spoken to describe the birth of their child as a “miracle” or “the most religious experience of my life”. It is no different for me. The birth of my daughter and later my son are the top experiences of my life. No competition.

If the birth of children is such a spiritual experience for men, is it possible that it is not just fathers but the infant who is having a spiritual experience? William Schafer writes in the journal Zero to Three that infants “frequently give us hints that they are capable of fundamentally spiritual experences” (Schafer, 2004). He identifies three spiritual elements of the infant’s experience: presence, joy, and awareness.

Presence.
“The infant appears to be utterly and simply present in the moment and to the experience it offers. Indeed, the infant seems to embody presence itself. This quality, more so than any other, brings to mind the idea of ‘soul’ as it is described by so many traditions” (Schafer, 2004).

In our busy, adult lives we rarely live in the moment. We are either comparing the present to past experiences or anticipating what is coming next often with anxiety about getting everything done. But the newborn simply exists in the moment. I liken this to my adult experience of peacefulness that I discover when I finally slow down. It doesn’t happen often but when it does it is truly a spiritual experience. One of the times as an adult when I am fully in the moment is when I am holding a young infant. My heartbeat slows and I simply am. Perhaps, the infant is teaching me.

Joy.
In my 18-year-old son, I describe this as being impetuous in his desire to experience the full-breadth of life. In an infant we see it in the pure joy derived from each new experience. Shafer describes an encounter that he observed at an airport in which a six or seven month old baby was enraptured by a woman about twenty-feet away:

“The baby’s capacity to abide in such a joyful state originated not in the woman, but in the baby’s own manner of perceiving. She was simply there and aware. She neither waited nor wanted; she neither judged nor compared. Her joy did not depend on the object perceived; it resided in the act of experiencing. Joy as defined here is the natural, inevitable consequence of presence” (Schafer, 2004).

As an adult I rarely experience pure joy and when I do I often feel embarrassed. I look around afterwards to be sure no one spotted me. Being joyful for joy’s sake is not a typical adult response and, yet, we all have met someone who is truly joyful. This is the person who exudes love, warmth, and happiness and it rarely has anything to do with experiences and everything to do with how that individual perceives the world. This, according to Schafer is one of the regular spiritual experiences of the infant.

Awareness.
Not present at birth, this is the awareness that others also have an awareness. That is, there is someone besides me in this world. As an illustration, Schafer describes an experience he had observing a seven-month old, “Whenever her mother stopped singing, the little girl stopped moving her arms. Two weeks later, I saw [her] introduce a fascinating variation to the game: She stopped waving her arms 5 seconds after her mother began singing. Her mother obliged her by falling silent in mid-syllable. The little girl grinned, waited than waved her arms again to make her mommy begin singing again. A few seconds later, she stopped waving and laughed when her mother once more fell silent” (Schafer, 2004).

I compare this final aspect of infant spirituality to the adult spiritual need for community with others. We all thrive best among those who love and support us. We all feel a need to matter to others. I compare the infant’s living in presence to the adult need for meditation or prayer and, finally, I compare the infant’s joy to the sense of equilibrium or “ok-ness” that we all feel when we are spiritually attuned.

As adults we can learn much about and from infants and toddlers. As we observe their problem solving and other cognitive skills, their early attempts at communication through sounds and gestures, their trial and error learning of social skills, and their first steps we learn a lot about how to meet their needs as well as about our own learning, communication, socialization, and physical skills. Perhaps, when we define wellness too narrowly as only health, nutrition, safety, or even interpersonal relationships and support systems, we are neglecting one of the most important aspects of being human—spirituality. Perhaps, if we pay attention to infant spirituality, we will not only learn about how better to help our children to grow and learn, but our babies and toddlers may teach us about the building blocks of human spirituality, the roots of our own spiritual well-being.
 

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18: 2-4 (NIV)

REFERENCE
Shafer, W. (2004). The infant as reflection of soul: The time before there was a self. Zero to Three: Journal of Zero to Three National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families, 24: 3, pp. 5-8.

Holy Bible. (1984). New International Version. International Bible Society.
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Tim Graves, M.S.Ed. is the editor of the Alliance newsletter, a former Alliance Service Coordinator, an early childhood consultant through his business, Training Wheels for Early Childhood Education, and an adjunct professor at Jefferson Community College in Steubenville.

©2005 Timothy R. Graves. All Rights Reserved. Permission to reproduce for use with parents and families of young children is granted provided no financial gain is involved and this copyright notice is included. Mr. Graves would appreciate any feedback and knowing how and when you use this document. Please let him know by writing Training Wheels for Early Childhood Education at 1981 Decatur Avenue Wheeling, WV 26003 or sending an e-mail to timgraves@trainingwheels4ece.com. Additional articles and handouts can be found at www.trainingwheels4ece.com