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Focus only on the child. "I will just do my best
with the children during the day and not worry about the parents." OR
"I am a professional. That is what the parents expect from me. I only talk
about issues related to their child."
-
Focus only on the parent. "If I am the parents' friend, then they
will trust me with their child."
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Only partially support the parents' wishes for the child. "Your
Mom says...even though I don't like it."
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Focus on what you know and let parents know it at every opportunity.
"I have a degree in child development. I should think I know more about
kids than an attorney." OR "Yes, of course Bobby does that, it's
normal for him. I've raised three children, you'll just have to get used to
it."
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Never admit mistakes. Blame the children if possible. "Michael
knows that he is responsible for his belongings. It is not my job to check the
bus after the field trip."
-
Be judgmental. "Can you believe that outfit? It's way too cold
for shorts!" OR "I would never allow my child to..."
-
View parents as a group. "If you're a parent you're responsible
for...whether or not you have to..."
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Expect your rules to be followed. Period. "If they don't like it,
let them try to find care as good as I give!"
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Blame your rules on others. "The licensing book says..." OR
"I begged my Director but she won't allow us to..."
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Don't support your program with parents. "I'm sorry I can't let
Sylvie bring in chocolate bars...It doesn't really bother me but you know how
this place is."
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Assume parents' requests are unreasonable. "This is group care!
If they want a nanny, they should hire one."
-
See things only from the child's point of view. "When you do
that, Rolonda probably feels..."
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Believe that parents are inherently "good" or "bad".
"Some people just shouldn't be parents."
-
Be insensitive to parents' moods and needs. "I realize it is
snowing and you're due at the airport in 45 minutes, but I need diapers!"
-
Avoid the real issues when talking with parents. "I'm just afraid
that his toy gun will get lost" rather than "We prefer the children
don't bring guns to the classroom because it encourages violent play."
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Discuss one parent with their spouse. "Hey, Louise, you should
have seen your husband this morning. He..."
-
Discuss one parent in front of other parents. "Yeah, I know, she
is a little strange. I guess Baby is lucky to be here with us during the day. I
sure don't have to worry about that with you."
-
Allow yourself to get pulled into a marital matter. "Yes, I think
it would be best for LaTosha to live with her father after the divorce."
-
Place your values on parents. "No meeting is as important as my
child's violin recital" or "I don't think children should..."
-
Tell parents you don't know something without helping them to find an answer.
"I wasn't here this morning. I have no idea."
-
Communicate with parents in only one way. Talk to them but don't give
them notes. Leave notes but never talk to them. Give them pictures of their
child at play but don't tell them about it.
-
Give the impression that you don't like their child. "He wasn't
too bad today for Parker" or after a warm greeting to one child, "Oh,
hi Felicia."
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When a parent has a complaint, justify what you have done. "Well,
I had to do it because..." or "I was just about to do that..."
-
Hide your mistakes with parents from your supervisor. "I don't
remember any problem with Mr. Macklin last night."
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Never smile or greet parents and children warmly. Talk about your own
problems to them. "You think your morning was rough..."
