Sleeping During the First Year

Tim Graves, M.S.Ed.

What's normal for babies?

The first three to four months of life is an unsettled period for sleeping and feeding patterns. The baby is adjusting to life outside the womb. Regardless, of the parent's or caregiver's actions, each day may bring a new napping and bottle or nursing schedule.

By four months, the infant's natural schedule becomes more consistent. Most children are capable of sleeping eight hours without waking to eat by this time. (Unfortunately, the specific eight hours the baby sleeps may not be the same hours that parents want to sleep.)

By six months sleep patterns and sleep associations are nearly intact. Sleep associations refers to those cues that human beings, and specifically infants, use to help them fall asleep. Six months is also the age some parents worry that their child has a sleep problem. For other parents, this sense of a problem may occur later in the first or even the second year. A few parents report never having major problems with their child's sleeping patterns and routines.

If less than four months old, your child probably needs the nourishment provided by a night-time feeding. Feed him or her with minimal talk and return to the baby to bed.

Feedings during the day may be too frequent. Your baby may be trained to eat too frequently. Gradually try to space daytime feedings two to three hours apart. Two reminders: A.) Nursing babies usually need to eat more often than bottle-fed babies; and B.) Your baby is learning to trust during this early stage of life. Hungry babies should be fed regardless of what Aunt Matilda or book tells you. Adults who respond inconsistently teach infants to distrust that their needs will be met. The result will be more not less crying.

Your child may associate feeding with falling asleep. She or he wakes in the night--as all humans do--and is unable to fall back asleep without the object of association. You can help by separating feedings from sleeping. Put your baby in bed sleepy but awake.

Disruptions in normal sleep patterns can cause this. If your baby has been ill and waking at night you have rightly comforted him or her. Just as vacations, time changes, or other family stressors disrupt your sleep patterns, they may upset your baby's sleep associations. You will need to reestablish normal sleep associations to eliminate this behavior.

Your baby associates falling asleep with closeness to an adult. The child is rocked to sleep at bedtime and the association is set. Remember, to prevent night waking it is important to make sure the same associations are available to your baby in the middle of the night as at bedtime. Find times other than while your child is falling asleep to cuddle after the first three months of life.

Night waking is responded to with nurturing efforts. Place your baby in bed sleepy but awake. Security objects such as night lights and stuffed toys are appropriate around six months old.

Minimizing social contact in the middle of the night will help your child to understand that night is for sleeping not socializing.

Laying your child down to sleep with a bottle is not a good idea for a couple of reasons:

1. The sugar content in formula, milk, or juice can cause dental problems. Fluid is more likely to build in the middle ear. Your child will be more susceptible to ear infections.

2. Sleep associations are very important. If the bottle is hard to find in the middle of the night, your baby may have trouble self-settling. This can also be true of the pacifier. The pacifier, however, can be attached to the crib sheet or your baby's night clothes with a SHORT elastic connector. (Never ever use string or yarn as strangulation could occur.) One mother chose not to use a connector and reported that she solved the problem by placing ten pacifiers in her baby's crib so that one was always within the child's reach.

 Why should I put my baby to bed the same way all the time?

A consistent routine helps your infant know what to expect--sleep. A bedtime routine should be as predictable and pleasant as you can make it. A typical routine might be bath, story, and hugs and kisses from Mommy and Daddy. The key is consistency.

 Should I let my baby cry it out? I don't want to spoil my baby.

NO. Probably the single most important learning for the under two year old is trust. If you simply leave your child to cry, he or she will eventually stop. (In fact research tells us that children who never have any of their needs met do not cry.) The lesson your child learns is "I can't trust Mommy and Daddy to come when I cry."

YES. If you run to your baby at the very first sign of distress your baby will not learn to self-settle. You may also actually disturb your infant.

THE MIDDLE ROAD. By five to six months of age it may be appropriate to allow your child to cry or fuss for brief periods. After the bedtime routine, leave your child alone to sleep. If crying begins, enter the sleeping area and matter-of-factly lay your baby down and say "It is time to sleep." Leave.

If the crying persists, wait about ten minutes. (Not long, but to parents it may feel much longer.) Enter the sleeping area again. Matter-of-factly lay your baby down and say "It is time to sleep." Leave. Continue to repeat this process. By entering the room periodically you reassure the child that you are nearby and you reassure yourself that your baby is indeed alright. By keeping calm and by keeping social contact to a minimum, you give the message that sleep is expected.

This process will take at least three nights before your child begins to settle to sleep with minimal fussing. Some children take longer to settle, some may take less. Remember, as excruciatingly painful as the crying may be to you, giving in to your child will lengthen the time it takes before your baby is able to self-settle. Of course, if your child is sick or hungry, your baby should not be left to cry.

©Copyright, 1994 Timothy R. Graves.  All Rights Reserved. Permission to reproduce for use with parents and families of young children is granted provided no financial gain is involved and this copyright notice is included. Mr. Graves would appreciate any feedback and knowing how and when you use this document. Please let him know by writing Training Wheels for Early Childhood Education at 1981 Decatur Avenue Wheeling, WV 26003 or sending an e-mail to timgraves@trainingwheels4ece.com. Additional articles and handouts can be found at www.trainingwheels4ece.com